Football

Uwdi Krugg will be spending the 2016-17 season watching South West non league football, eating the wrong kind of food and having a bloody good moan.


Sunday, 19 September 2010

Hallam

Saturday 18th September
FA Vase 2nd Round Qualifying
Hallam 6 Penrith 2
Attendance: 72 (Head count)
Admission: £5
Programme: 50p (Reduced cup tie edition)
Tea hut purchases: Steak pie £1.60p, Tea 90p (2 cups)
Weather: Autumnal chill with a dull leaden sky
Parking: Just down from 'The Plough', a bank robbers exit
The Match Shed hates the abysmal Glossop traffic, the sensible, practical route meant spending half an hour in the bottle-neck jams of a Safety Co-ordinators traffic light nirvana. The engine raced as we kissed the mess goodbye. Up, up and over the foreboding but hauntingly beautiful Snake-Pass, the Match Shed pulling 'full throttle' for Hallam. Its perfect Peak District all the way until you hit the first semi detached houses, take the first proper right and you're soon on Sandygate the home of the oldest football ground in the whole wide world! My trip was long enough, spare a thought for the old coach that trundled down from the edge of the Northern Lakes, as we arrived, the trusty Penrith team bus was still steaming in the pub car park opposite the ground, its non playing passengers gulping foamy pints to rinse away the journey. The vehicle looked like an entrant for a heritage transport rally. 2010 must be the Chinese year for the sloping pitch, boy I've seen a few this year, this was the Big Daddy though, wow, what a hillside! From the goalposts outside 'The Plough' to the goalposts down by the cricket nets it looked like a one in four. Surely a trait that those crafty Hallam types will keep up their sleeves for tactical exploitation?After the horror pie at Ossett Albion last week Frugal Glenn said I must be dafter than I look to try another one, it was a no-brainer as far as I was concerned, I was bloody starving so I went straight to the Tea Hut. "A pie of your finest shin beef and golden pastry Young Wench" I ordered (in my Henry the Eighth voice). The old lady behind the counter thought I was a knob and just mumbled "One pound sixty". Time for a drink as well I thought "Becalm my arid throat with your finest Ceylon tea" I barked, she calmly retorted "90p" with a disinterested kind of look. Good to know I've still got that cutting charm with the ladies.Frugal Glenn had gone and stood somewhere else, he was wearing his new shoes again and didn't want me cramping his style. The steak pie was ok really but it fell into that worrying bracket I am seeing more and more at grounds these days, 'The Supermarket Pie'. These pastries do what they set out to do but are generally a bit bland, shy on decent filling and never go to that really special pie place conjured up by Mrs Beaton and Desperate Dan, thats why you can usually get 2 for a quid at the likes of Morrisons and Tesco's. As I sat in the stand I noticed a half empty gallon bottle of wine on the floor in front of the empty seat marked 'Director', bloody hell, I hope the footballs not that bad round here that everybody has to get half cut on plonk. I need not have worried, this glorious cup tie produced fine football, grit, determination and 8 wonderful goals (ok 2 were penalties).At half time it was 1-1 and Penrith had created enough chances playing up the almighty hill to be away with the fairies. They broke away regularly and always cut up the home defence, they must have been kicking themselves to be only level pegging at the break. With the ski-slope at their backs for the second half they'd surely be using the scoreboard from the adjoining cricket pitch to keep up with the scoreline. Oh what a difference a half time talk and a slice of orange does......... Penrith looked like Bunnykins and his Rabbit Gang caught in the full beam of a Hallam Juggernaut in that second period. The daring breaks and clinical counter attacking were all but nullified by a finely measured resolute team performance from a resurgent Hallam side oozing in Flashman type one upmanship, they bossed Penrith off the park in the last 45.When you consider that both sides played by far their better football playing up the massive slope you really start to wonder how much tactical 'human-behaviour' plays a part in team psychology in the modern game, either that or they can't keep up with the ball when its running down that hill at such a speed. Hallam dictated more and more as the game wore on. If we had played an extra ten minutes they could easily have been in double figures, it was that kind of game. Frugal Glenn put the Penrith retreat down to tiredness, he reckoned they were coach-lagged from the rigours of the long journey south. How else could a side so lethal-looking in the first half end up being drubbed so convincingly at the final whistle? Perhaps teams need to look at the amount of warming up exercises they do before a game. Every week I see teams out running around and jumping through hoops for 50 minutes before kick off, no wonder some of them are fagged out in the final quarter of a game? Or was this particular cup tie more about that slope and how Hallam play it? Not often you see a Northern League side put to the sword like today.

2 comments:

Dave Bell said...

Excellent report (I was there too and fully concur!). You did well to survive the Hallam catering (not the best). I was the surly cropped haired bugger in the brown coat sat on the back row of the stand (to the right as you look at it face on). Your photo from the stand looks like you were near me (Billybadkness from Kempster btw). Once again good article fully enjoyed reading it!

Uwdi Krugg said...

Thanks Dave, I forgot to mention the impressive little clubhouse in my report, neat, tidy and (importantly) warm. Some fancy signed shirts on the walls as well, Pele included.